Zen and the Art of Listening

Listening is something about which I know nothing and everything. I know when people aren't listening to me (children being the prime example). But I am not sensitive enough when listening to others.

I learned something about listening today. A friend, for whom I have great respect, began to talk about golf. Anyone who knows me, knows my opinion about golf. I do not relate to the game, and have characterized it as akin to observing thin film on a surface curing. (The act of applying this thin film is another activity I rarely enjoy performing.)

To appreciate my friend's company on the outing we were taking, I reminded myself to be in the moment. To apply quality to this moment, and really listen to what he had to say. After I commented that I do not "get" golf, he said that he, too, did not in the beginning. As we discussed the game, I visualized the aspects of the challenge, and how one has to apply mental discipline to the sport. To keep your head down, listen for the sound of the club impacting the ball and only then follow the ball's trajectory.

I gained a new insight into the game by this listening exercise. Not just being polite, but hearing with open ears and open mind.

Karen Armstrong, in her book The Case for God, speaks about Socrates. She says that he believed "that without the spirited interchange of a human encounter written knowledge is static". He developed dialetic to "expose false beliefs and elicit truth". One gets the sense he used this interchange to know people as well, through listening as well as his interrogative method.

I think, in this country especially, we have completely lost the art of listening. It is evidenced by the divisiveness and lack of true dialog. As I read about our country's leaders trying to tackle issues, frequently compromise is used as a dirty word. As if listening to another's ideas and perhaps incorporating them into a solution is being criminal. Ironically, Socrates was not one for compromise. Facing trial and execution, Athenian authorities wanted him to simply leave but his steadfast refusal led to his demise. And perhaps, this was not a time for compromise.

The Zen path is helping me to listen. It is not itself one of the eight noble truths that Buddhism teaches. But it is definitely incorporated into right understanding and right mindfulness. The world is facing challenges unknown to us before; limited resources, exploding population, aging population, irreversible environmental damage. And on top of these, we face the random act of violence mother nature provides, such as earthquakes, with no provocation from humankind. Certainly if I can experience a moment appreciating the fine aspects of golf, through genuine listening, we all can take the time to start talking more productively about our problems. And come up with solutions. It takes opening our ears and opening our minds.

But don't expect me on the links too soon, there are motorcycles to ride.